All Happy ever wanted to do was become a professional hockey player and after being told repeatedly that he wasn’t good enough, he was picked up by ex pro golf player Chubbs Peterson and began his career in professional golf.
We make the argument that Happy Gilmore is in fact the greatest golfer of all time, and we have some pretty compelling evidence to support our claim:
1. The Fans
It goes without saying that most fans of “holing the ball” don’t wear alcohol dispensing hats to watch a round of golf, but Happy’s fans did. Happy managed to capture the imagination of the public and gain their support in their thousands. He got a whole new demographic interested in the game and coming out to see him and watching him on television.
This isn’t including the one time he decided he’d had enough of being heckled by one particular fan. Happy strode over to him, pulled the guy’s t-shirt over his head and punched him. Despite this, he’s still adored by most. He must have been loved and hated by the advertisers in equal measure. With happy in the picture there was surely lots of golf betting going on.
2. The Drive
To put it simply, Happy has the longest drive in the history of the game. Louis Oosthuizen might well have pulled off a 500 yard drive during the Ballentine’s Championship in Korea in 2013 but this was more down to it fortuitously rolling half the distance down a road beside the course. Happy can strike the ball 400+ yards in the worst of conditions meaning he could probably break the 550-yard mark without breaking a sweat.
And even though Happy Gilmore’s signature run and strike swing technique is rumored to be unachievable by anyone else but him, a bunch of other pros tried it out at the European Tour back in 2013. Most were unsuccessful, but one golfer, Padraig Harrington, managed to drive the ball 328 yards using the same style, not a patch on Happy, but not bad.
3. The Rivalry
Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus may also have a claim on the title of the greatest golfing rivalry of all time, having won major after major battling it out with each other but they are pipped, in many people’s opinions, by the great McGavin Vs Gilmore rivalry.
Shooter was considered one of the best players of his era, picking up tournament wins with consummate ease until the new guy on the block, Happy Gilmore, disrupted the status quo. With his long drive, passionate youthful fan base and aggressive behaviour, Happy got under Shooters skin. This rivalry culminated in Happy winning the coveted golden jacket, something Chubbs Peterson was never able to do, writing his name into golfing history forever. Shooter McGavin was last seen as an attendant at a Mini Golf course in his hometown.
4. The Quotes
In his time on the professional golf tour, Happy has come up with some absolutely fantastic moments:
“If I saw myself in clothes like that I’d have to kick my own ass.” – Happy Gilmore
“Why you don’t you just go HOME? That’s your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME!” — Happy Gilmore
“The price is wrong, bitch” — Happy Gilmore
And his most famous of all:
“I eat pieces of sh*t like you for breakfast!” “You eat pieces of sh*t for breakfast?” — Shooter McGavin & Happy Gilmore
5. His Heart
Let’s not forget that the only reason Happy switched from his beloved hockey (ok, probably a good decision) to play golf professionally was to save his grandma’s house from getting re-possessed. She was deeply in the hole having not paid her taxes for years and he came to the rescue. Hi grandma lived in the house her husband built until she passed away aged 91.
Happy Gilmore, the greatest golfer of all time.